R.E.S.P.E.C.T…Speaking a man’s language.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T…Speaking a man’s language.

I’m kind of tired of all the TV shows that show these irresponsible, idiot men. They tease them, show them making stupid mistakes and of course the wonderful wife is the heroin, who solves all the problems. Don’t get me wrong, I think women do a wonderful job in our society, but I think men are getting a bad rap.

Once upon a time I thought all men were stupid, I thought I knew more, was more articulate and got a job done better, but with the eye opening help from my sister, Steph, I can see that I had a blindfold on. There are men out there who are morons, sure, but the majority of them are hard working, smart, loving and deserve our respect.

As soon as I started respecting my husband and showing/telling him how much I respected him, my blindfold came off and I saw what a wonderful man he has always been, it was a change in my thinking and my vision of him that made the biggest difference. He has always been an amazing man, but once I realized it he became even more wonderful in my eyes.

David and I married young, I was 19, and he was 20. We did a lot of growing and learning together, and looking back now, sure we made our share of mistakes. But seriously once I learned his language, and was able to articulate how important he was to me our marriage truly blossomed. I don’t want to minimize a man’s needs or illustrate them to be simple creatures, but once I figured out how to effectively communicate to him life has been amazing. Think of it as having a wonderful friend who speaks a foreign language. When you tell them that you love them, they might not fully understand what that means to you, however when you become bi-lingual and start using words that they really value, then your relationship becomes that much fuller.

Respect has different meanings for men and women, for women we think this might mean having our bosses admire us, trust us and of course pay us what we feel we deserve, and for men it is similar, but I’ve found that it also means telling them regularly that we respect them. That we understand the sacrifices they’re making and that we trust them. When David and I were first married all decisions had to go through me, now when he brings something to my attention, I usually say, “ya know honey, I trust your judgment, you decide.” Since I have done this our finances, our home, his work, everything has turned around for the better. I had to get out of his way, he knew how to do things and make things wonderful the entire time but I was blocking him. I guess a lot of people, especially women will think I’m giving away my power, but really I’m allowing him to do what he does best, and I’m telling myself that I might not know best and so I made that change. Early on I realized that in marriage if one person is right, the other person is wrong, and nobody enjoys being wrong, and frankly when one person has to be right, both people lose!

I guess I’ve learned that the fastest way to be treated as an equal, to be treasured and to be trusted with any man, your father, father-in-law, grandfather, husband, brother, boss…whoever, is to tell them how much you respect them! For some women this might be hard, certainly there are men out there that don’t deserve our respect, but the ones that do need to be told how you feel. If not they may feel that they are being taken for granted. It’s not that you feel that way, but that we don’t know how to effectively communicate what they need to hear.

So ladies, give your men what they need, tell them how much you respect them, and show them how much they mean to you. Let’s face it there are plenty of losers out there, if you have a good, decent man, keep him by speaking his language. Also keep it interesting, mix things up, surprise them, you might just surprise yourself in the process.