There was a time in my life that I wanted everything perfect in my house. From no water drops on the facet in the bathroom, to the perfect tri-folded hand towel hanging off my oven, my vacuum tracks had to be parallel, my pantry in alphabetical order. To enter our home our company had to remove their shoes, and heaven forbid someone forget to use a coaster, I mean of all the atrocities!
Then I had kids…
I tried for a while to maintain my level of organization and cleanliness. But somewhere between colic, and brightly colored plastic toys strewn all over the living room I realized it didn’t matter. No matter how much I cleaned, the house would still look like a toddler lived in it, there was no hiding that, and I’ve actually come to embrace it.
Before I had kids there was no excuse to have a messy home, but now, while I still have the urge to have things spotless I understand that it just isn’t gonna happen, and with a 3 year old and 6 week old even if by the grace of God I did have the energy to get it done, well it would be destroyed in minutes, if not seconds. And so I’ve decided to not worry about it, well that’s a lie, I still worry about it, but I guess I don’t allow it to consume me as much I used to.
It isn’t just a surrender though, I haven’t given up a perfect home just because I’m exhausted, I’m also doing it for my kids. I know that sounds funny, but seriously I don’t ever want my kid’s only memories of me to be cleaning or yelling about someone making a mess. Recently when I asked a very good friend of mine how she got so much fun stuff done; along with all the work she said something to the effect of… “I view life like a great big pie fight, a big mess but so worth the clean-up.” And that is how she lives, involved in everything, exhausted not just from the work but from the fun. I want to be like that. And I want my girls to see me that way.
I want my girls to know that if they accidentally splatter cake batter on the ceiling because they raised the beaters before turning the mixer off, that it’s okay! I’m thankful they were making a cake! I want them to remember that nothing is more fun than getting covered in sand at the beach, even if that sand stays on my kitchen floor for a week. I want them to remember the perfect recipe for making a piñata, and that recipe includes getting the batter EVERYWHERE, it also includes adding a week to whatever drying time you had planned on.
Most importantly I want them to remember that they are so much more important than how our house looks. Their lives, their goals, their experiences will always trump a spotless counter top. Sure I’ll keep the house clean, it will be tidy, but will I say “no” to my daughter wanting to finger paint her next masterpiece? Absolutely not, because long after I’ve mopped up the paint and used stain stick on her clothes, I’ll have the image of her smiling face in my head as she sheepishly brings me her masterpiece and says,
“I made it for you, mom.”
